Remember about my previous blog post about my life in MCKL? The time travel thing? I thought it's emotional enough for me to bid goodbye to my last class in college, to not have classes with my college mates anymore. Little did I realize that our official last day in college, which is our last day of finals, is actually the genuinely emotional day for me. We had 2 months to study and sit for exams together despite finishing classes. We had 2 months to enjoy despite not listening to lectures together anymore. And those two whole months which consisted of around 61 days just passed by. Just like that. Seriously, time waits for no man!
While studying for finals, I was actually paying attention to my friends, storing every single significant and meaningful gestures and words of theirs in my memory. Till now, I can still remember them. And till death, I will always remember them but shall keep to myself and not reveal to anyone.
I once had a chat with the Further Math students. We were talking about our future kids; how our future daughters would get together while we would talk about college times; how lucky a friend's future wife would be and that I would find someone meant for me. Then, as if time froze right after our conversation, I found myself looking at a blur future. Will we actually meet up again after we parted ways for years? Will we be there to witness each other's important events of life? Will our kids get a chance to know each other? Will we even remember what we said to each other and our moments together? Will we be able to tell our children about our college friends and life?
Two days ago, a group of us had a pot-luck party in a friend's house. Again, I carelessly ignored time until it was time for us to go home. One by one, as I watched my friends left, like a video recorder, I saved whatever memory I had of them even though they may be really little. Because as quoted by my senior, life is like an airport. You stand in the middle of the airport and you see passengers arrive and fly off. People come and go. We meet new people, then they leave and then we meet other new people, then they too, leave and the cycle goes on. The only thing we have of them is a memory of them, whether about their physical appearance, words, actions, anything.
These two weeks, every time I sat with a friend, my heart felt heavy with sadness, especially towards our last day. Some of my college friends are from other countries and states, hence by next week, most of them would be back to their homes. The only way to communicate with each other is of course, through the Internet. But I don't think that it's good enough. I mean, it's not original. We talk to each other through screens. Heck, we can't even look at each other face-to-face despite having profile pictures. How are we to show our true expressions to each other? Gradually, we would be too occupied that the least we could do is to like our friends' wall post.
I honestly think I can't express my feelings properly above. My sentence structures and vocabulary are jumbled up and might not make sense. But if you understand, I truly appreciate it.
I don't easily express my feelings to my family and friends in person. I find it better to do so by writing a letter or a blog. I'm sorry if I appeared to be cold or ignorant towards you in college. Hence, here's a message to my 1107 friends:
God is truly amazing in creating lives. He created us for each other although it may be for a short while, but at least we are in each other's lives. We existed for each other somehow. I don't have a vivid memory of my childhood and high school life because I've been erasing most of them from my memory. I've never believed in friends. I never thought coming to MCKL would teach me to believe in friends, who in turn taught me about faith in Him. I am now, indeed, missing everyone of you although I just saw some of you during the party. I can write a long post on how and when we first met, what we have done together and so on. But by doing so, I think I would cry a river simply because I want to relive college life so badly.
I hate to say this but, in person, this is definitely a goodbye to you all, unless we end up in the same university or still meet up with each other. I don't know when we will see each other again but as ironic as this sounds, let's keep in touch with each other through the Internet (everyone keeps telling each other to keep in touch but whaddaya know, it doesn't work). If you care to put in the effort. This actually includes me too. But the most important of all, take good care of yourselves and no matter how many people lack faith in you, always believe in yourselves because He has never failed to believe in you. :) With that, au revoir.
P/S: I expect you to read my blog whenever I update it on Facebook. Heee...
