MARRIAGE.
I'd be lying if I tell you that I've never dreamt of a perfect marriage with my future husband, go crazy with him before raising beautiful kids together. I'd be lying if I tell you that I have never dreamt of cooking delicious meals for him everytime he comes home from work.
Yes, I've dreamt of weddings, marriage and how it will be God-driven.
But truth to be told. I am clearly not ready for it. I'm 22, still young and have much to explore. And I'm still being financially supported by my parents.
On the other hand, I see a lot of my university mates are eager to get married. People younger than me are already planning to jump into the 'We Got Married' wagon after graduation. Wait, what about getting a job? Or are you not planning to get one?
I'm not against early marriages, really. No sarcasm intended. I mean, if you are prepared and you've found someone, well why not, right?
The thing is, whenever I tell my friends that the earliest I will get married is at the age of 27, their eyes would literally pop out of their sockets. Then they would ask, "What about children? You'll have less chance to get babies."
I am just going to make my stand. I am not prepared for marriage, and will never be in at least 5 years time.
1. Because I have more missions in life before committing myself to my future spouse, children and in-laws. I want to live life as a single lady. I have so much in mind, call me selfish, but i really don't want marriage to rob away the time I wish to use to do things I would love to do solo.
2. Because I am not ready to be committed. I'm going to quote this from Seth Adam Smith of the Huff Post Weddings:
My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, "Seth, you're being totally selfish. So I'm going to make this really simple: marriage isn't for you. You don't marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn't for yourself, you're marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn't for you. It's not about you. Marriage is about the person you married."
No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It's about the person you love--their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, "What's in it for me?" while Love asks, "What can I give?"So, do excuse me for my selfishness because I am really not ready to give full commitment to the person that I am to marry.
3. Because I want to get a stable job first. I'm the independent type of woman. I'm not planning to rely fully on my future husband's money because I don't want to burden nor owe him financially. I'm fine with us sharing the financial burden involving the house, car, our children's education, health and necessities, because these are our responsibilities as husband and wife. A little splash of pampering would be nice if he spends me dinners and vacations occasionally. But no, I'm not going to suck all the money from my future husband. So, where do I get my source of income? A job definitely. And at my stage, when do I get a job? After graduation and tons of tough competitions from other potential graduates. Before I even say 'yes' to him, I need to secure a job and have a stable income to support our family together with my future husband; and as a backup income source just in case we may get a divorce or he kicks bucket. I am also the type who does not like to be dominated by the male ego, hence bringing food home places me on par with my husband and I have the right to have a say in our family.
And the time taken to ensure that I have my job, strike off stuff from the to-do list and be ready to marry to make him happy? At least 5 years.
p/s: My guardian angel said that he won't be surprised if I'd be single throughout my life. Like I have mentioned, I am an independent woman.
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